Bouncing Like Crazy

When I got out of the shower Jill had almost finished packing her things, which was amazing considering the fact that I hadn’t noticed her get started. If only she wasn’t such an efficient and dynamic person I might’ve noticed

Bouncing Like Crazy

When I got out of the shower Jill had almost finished packing her things, which was amazing considering the fact that I hadn’t noticed her get started. If only she wasn’t such an efficient and dynamic person I might’ve noticed

Bad Boys

*(originally published in the collection, Telling Lies And Disappointing People) In high school I had a girlfriend who’s house was always empty. Katie’s mom was a social worker who pretty much lived at the office, and her dad was getting

Bad Boys

*(originally published in the collection, Telling Lies And Disappointing People) In high school I had a girlfriend who’s house was always empty. Katie’s mom was a social worker who pretty much lived at the office, and her dad was getting

My Heart (may or may not go on)

*(originally published in the collection Telling Lies And Disappointing People) Yvette broke up with me soon after I sat her down and explained that I had a baboon’s heart and was incapable of experiencing strong emotion. She didn’t believe me,

My Heart (may or may not go on)

*(originally published in the collection Telling Lies And Disappointing People) Yvette broke up with me soon after I sat her down and explained that I had a baboon’s heart and was incapable of experiencing strong emotion. She didn’t believe me,

From The Wolves

*(originally published at Housefire Books) I thought we had an understanding, the raccoons and me. Not friendship necessarily, but a certain respect, born less from fear than mutual admiration. Hakuna Matata. But thanks to those treacherous creatures I recently learned

From The Wolves

*(originally published at Housefire Books) I thought we had an understanding, the raccoons and me. Not friendship necessarily, but a certain respect, born less from fear than mutual admiration. Hakuna Matata. But thanks to those treacherous creatures I recently learned

Et Tu, Grandpa

We didn’t know what to think when Grandpa came home last night with a mohawk. Though it’s hardly a mohawk, considering Grandpa’s male-pattern baldness, he obviously believes that it is and behaves accordingly. Under Mom’s advice I pretended not to

Et Tu, Grandpa

We didn’t know what to think when Grandpa came home last night with a mohawk. Though it’s hardly a mohawk, considering Grandpa’s male-pattern baldness, he obviously believes that it is and behaves accordingly. Under Mom’s advice I pretended not to

Don’t Call Me A Monster

Sometimes the smooth whisper of a jazz melody will drift through my open window as I sit at my desk smoking countless Robusta cigars. When the sound of the saxophone reaches my ears I’ll lean back in my human-skin throne

Don’t Call Me A Monster

Sometimes the smooth whisper of a jazz melody will drift through my open window as I sit at my desk smoking countless Robusta cigars. When the sound of the saxophone reaches my ears I’ll lean back in my human-skin throne

The Justin Paradox or Happy Summertime

*(originally published in Futro Magazine) I’m gripping the wheel of my fluorescent green Lamborghini so tight I feel my knuckles going white under these eel-skin driving gloves. I’m yoking all twelve cylinders, whipping the thing across busy lanes of traffic

The Justin Paradox or Happy Summertime

*(originally published in Futro Magazine) I’m gripping the wheel of my fluorescent green Lamborghini so tight I feel my knuckles going white under these eel-skin driving gloves. I’m yoking all twelve cylinders, whipping the thing across busy lanes of traffic