It has come to my attention that certain comments regarding my articles have been unfairly filtered out and branded “spam”. When people from all over the world are kind enough to respond to my incredible works, it breaks my heart to think that they aren’t being heard. So starting today I will reprint and reply to a few of the choicest comments that would otherwise slip through the cracks, thus giving a voice to the minority. You’re welcome.
* for the sake of comedy and verisimilitude I have reprinted the comments exactly as they were written, including all grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
“I do agree with all of the ideas you’ve presented to your post. They are very convincing and will definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are too brief for novices. May just you please lengthen them a little from next time?” —Corrin Manfredini
Thank you, Corrin. I’m glad to hear that you agree with all of my ideas and find them convincing, that is all I have ever asked of my readers. However, I suggest that you never again criticize the length of my posts. Nobody ever said this shit was for novices.
“Perfectly written content, thanks for information.” —Casino Online
Thank you, Mr. Casino for your terse and factual comment. You’re welcome for information, and I ask nothing in return except that you continue to worship me from afar (never up close).
“F*ckin’ awesome issues here. I am very glad to peer your article. Thank you a lot and i’m having a look ahead to touch you. Will you kindly drop me a mail?” —Lashonda Kingsford
Thank you for peering my article, your feelings about my issues bring me great joy. If you give me an address I would be happy to drop you a mail, but you might as well forget about touching me because it’s never going to happen, so stop having a look ahead to it. Thanks for reading!
“This is really interesting, You are an overly professional blogger. I have joined your feed and look ahead to in search of extra of your great post. Also, I’ve shared your website in my social networks!” —Horny Hot
Greetings Mr.(Mrs.?) Hot, while I’m gratified by your interest, I question your authority to brand me “overly professional”, when as far as you know I’m writing all of this in a silk kimono while a small child spoon feeds me candy corn. Does that sound professional to you? Anyhow, thanks for joining my feed and I look forward to thriving on your social networks!
Join me next time for more seriously important commentary from my underrepresented followers.