Soliloquies From The Heartland #2

I spent most of the morning eating oatmeal at the kitchen table until my buddy Ryan called me and said something that I don’t remember anymore. I knew I was supposed to go somewhere. I wasn’t really planning on going

Soliloquies From The Heartland #2

I spent most of the morning eating oatmeal at the kitchen table until my buddy Ryan called me and said something that I don’t remember anymore. I knew I was supposed to go somewhere. I wasn’t really planning on going

Amanda Bynes: A Life, Part VI

“Don’t push it, man.” I sighed. “You’re not the only jungle-dude in these parts, and don’t ever speak poetically to me again.”

Amanda Bynes: A Life, Part VI

“Don’t push it, man.” I sighed. “You’re not the only jungle-dude in these parts, and don’t ever speak poetically to me again.”

Date Night: Grocery Hell for Mr. Belle, Rock-Hound/Underground Man

“Avoid people at all costs.” – Zen koan By the time he’d reached the produce vending machine, Mr. Belle was already mentally revising the sternly worded letter he planned to write as soon as he got home. Assuming he ever

Date Night: Grocery Hell for Mr. Belle, Rock-Hound/Underground Man

“Avoid people at all costs.” – Zen koan By the time he’d reached the produce vending machine, Mr. Belle was already mentally revising the sternly worded letter he planned to write as soon as he got home. Assuming he ever

New Story In Futro Magazine 2.2

“I’m gripping the wheel of my fluorescent green Lamborghini so tight I feel my knuckles going white under these eel-skin driving gloves. I’m yoking all twelve cylinders, whipping the thing across busy lanes of traffic like a misshapen and potentially

New Story In Futro Magazine 2.2

“I’m gripping the wheel of my fluorescent green Lamborghini so tight I feel my knuckles going white under these eel-skin driving gloves. I’m yoking all twelve cylinders, whipping the thing across busy lanes of traffic like a misshapen and potentially

Soliloquies From The Heartland #1

I was over at the bodega when I ran into Hank and Wallace. They’re crazy shiny-haired suit types during the day but they’re also a couple of real chill dongers so we all ended up over at Marie’s place. Marie

Soliloquies From The Heartland #1

I was over at the bodega when I ran into Hank and Wallace. They’re crazy shiny-haired suit types during the day but they’re also a couple of real chill dongers so we all ended up over at Marie’s place. Marie

From The Files Of Mitt Romney, Bounty Hunter: Genesis

“Please tell me I’m still your number one man? 78,79,80…” Former vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan begged his roommate and lover Mitt Romney, enunciating his words in the clipped, mid-western twang Mitt had grown to hate. Paul was doing bicep curls

From The Files Of Mitt Romney, Bounty Hunter: Genesis

“Please tell me I’m still your number one man? 78,79,80…” Former vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan begged his roommate and lover Mitt Romney, enunciating his words in the clipped, mid-western twang Mitt had grown to hate. Paul was doing bicep curls

Raging The Waters

  Maybe there was nothing wrong with Mrs. Bocce’s brain afterall, the surgeon thought grimly as he duct-taped the top half of her skull back on and pushed her off the world’s steepest waterslide. Mrs. Bocce was his neighbor’s housekeeper,

Raging The Waters

  Maybe there was nothing wrong with Mrs. Bocce’s brain afterall, the surgeon thought grimly as he duct-taped the top half of her skull back on and pushed her off the world’s steepest waterslide. Mrs. Bocce was his neighbor’s housekeeper,