Bouncing Like Crazy
When I got out of the shower Jill had almost finished packing her things, which was amazing considering the fact that I hadn’t noticed her get started. If only she wasn’t such an efficient and dynamic person I might’ve noticed
Bouncing Like Crazy
When I got out of the shower Jill had almost finished packing her things, which was amazing considering the fact that I hadn’t noticed her get started. If only she wasn’t such an efficient and dynamic person I might’ve noticed
Bad Boys
*(originally published in the collection, Telling Lies And Disappointing People) In high school I had a girlfriend who’s house was always empty. Katie’s mom was a social worker who pretty much lived at the office, and her dad was getting
Bad Boys
*(originally published in the collection, Telling Lies And Disappointing People) In high school I had a girlfriend who’s house was always empty. Katie’s mom was a social worker who pretty much lived at the office, and her dad was getting
My Heart (may or may not go on)
*(originally published in the collection Telling Lies And Disappointing People) Yvette broke up with me soon after I sat her down and explained that I had a baboon’s heart and was incapable of experiencing strong emotion. She didn’t believe me,
My Heart (may or may not go on)
*(originally published in the collection Telling Lies And Disappointing People) Yvette broke up with me soon after I sat her down and explained that I had a baboon’s heart and was incapable of experiencing strong emotion. She didn’t believe me,
From The Wolves
*(originally published at Housefire Books) I thought we had an understanding, the raccoons and me. Not friendship necessarily, but a certain respect, born less from fear than mutual admiration. Hakuna Matata. But thanks to those treacherous creatures I recently learned
From The Wolves
*(originally published at Housefire Books) I thought we had an understanding, the raccoons and me. Not friendship necessarily, but a certain respect, born less from fear than mutual admiration. Hakuna Matata. But thanks to those treacherous creatures I recently learned
Don’t Call Me A Monster
Sometimes the smooth whisper of a jazz melody will drift through my open window as I sit at my desk smoking countless Robusta cigars. When the sound of the saxophone reaches my ears I’ll lean back in my human-skin throne
Don’t Call Me A Monster
Sometimes the smooth whisper of a jazz melody will drift through my open window as I sit at my desk smoking countless Robusta cigars. When the sound of the saxophone reaches my ears I’ll lean back in my human-skin throne
The Justin Paradox or Happy Summertime
*(originally published in Futro Magazine) I’m gripping the wheel of my fluorescent green Lamborghini so tight I feel my knuckles going white under these eel-skin driving gloves. I’m yoking all twelve cylinders, whipping the thing across busy lanes of traffic
The Justin Paradox or Happy Summertime
*(originally published in Futro Magazine) I’m gripping the wheel of my fluorescent green Lamborghini so tight I feel my knuckles going white under these eel-skin driving gloves. I’m yoking all twelve cylinders, whipping the thing across busy lanes of traffic
Soliloquies From The Heartland #2
I spent most of the morning eating oatmeal at the kitchen table until my buddy Ryan called me and said something that I don’t remember anymore. I knew I was supposed to go somewhere. I wasn’t really planning on going
Soliloquies From The Heartland #2
I spent most of the morning eating oatmeal at the kitchen table until my buddy Ryan called me and said something that I don’t remember anymore. I knew I was supposed to go somewhere. I wasn’t really planning on going
Amanda Bynes: A Life, Part VI
“Don’t push it, man.” I sighed. “You’re not the only jungle-dude in these parts, and don’t ever speak poetically to me again.”
Amanda Bynes: A Life, Part VI
“Don’t push it, man.” I sighed. “You’re not the only jungle-dude in these parts, and don’t ever speak poetically to me again.”
E.L. Hopkins 